Gratitude Bites the Dust

For a week I haven’t been able to think of anyone to thank, for anything.  Something’s a bit off.  But I already knew that.  It’s just that the mindfulness that this jubilee project requires (invites?) makes it really obvious.

Since I’m recording each day something that I expressed gratitude for, it’s rather obvious when all the calendar days are lacking that blue font I’ve reserved for this purpose.  Not a blue, indigo, cerulian, sky, royal, navy… nada.  

I’m tired.  I’m cranky.  My body aches and is cold.  My disciplines went to hell this week.  My house was full of guests, and I didn’t exactly feel that they were all providing me with the opportunity to “entertain angels unaware.”  I resented, and I grumbled.

And I thought about myself.  And what other people owed me.  And not so much about what I owed them, or what I could give to them, or what I could redistribute to someone else.  

Ah well, I’ll just get back on the horse and try riding again.  Before I get intimidated by the hopelessness of it all.


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