For a week I haven’t been able to think of anyone to thank, for anything. Something’s a bit off. But I already knew that. It’s just that the mindfulness that this jubilee project requires (invites?) makes it really obvious.
Since I’m recording each day something that I expressed gratitude for, it’s rather obvious when all the calendar days are lacking that blue font I’ve reserved for this purpose. Not a blue, indigo, cerulian, sky, royal, navy… nada.
I’m tired. I’m cranky. My body aches and is cold. My disciplines went to hell this week. My house was full of guests, and I didn’t exactly feel that they were all providing me with the opportunity to “entertain angels unaware.” I resented, and I grumbled.
And I thought about myself. And what other people owed me. And not so much about what I owed them, or what I could give to them, or what I could redistribute to someone else.
Ah well, I’ll just get back on the horse and try riding again. Before I get intimidated by the hopelessness of it all.