My friend David told me that this project sounded like it had potential to drive me crazy with legalistic requirements that added up to the opposite of jubilee sabbath. Like the mindfulness and intentionality would create a near-constant to-do list. I scoffed at that, saying, “Ah no, my friend, you misunderstand. This will be a freeing exercise, a chance to blow away the chaff and chomp on the wheat.” Or some such drivel.
David was right.
I’m burned out. There are a number of legitimate reasons why, on the home front, having to do with more than the usual number of adults living here and my inability to ask clearly for the help I need to run a household. So I’ll work to correct that. Yet my brand of jubilee is largely about change of focus and reorientation — vs. any sort of actual sit-down-and-do-nothing sabbath (evidenced by the fact that I am writing this at 3:14 a.m. on a Tuesday), and it feels like I am hitting myself over the head with a frying pan full of important orientations and intentions. And creating that “rule on rule” thing that Colossians describes (it that where it is?).
I’m tired. So for now I’ll go back to bed. But then I’ll (hopefully) wake up (don’t want to be presumptuous!) and spend some time in non-agenda-ish prayer (if I can remember what that looks like).