After Costco: Euphoria Fades to Malaise

I’ve just spent 4.5 hours door-to-door doing a Costco run.  If you live somewhere without a Costco (Are there such beauteous landscapes remaining?), think “Sam’s Club” or other huge warehouse clubs.  

Background: party coming up, wanted to grab the basics as cheaply as possible.  Needed clothes detergent, industrial garbage bags and some toiletries.  Got a text message from one of my favorite people on the planet inviting me to conquer Costco with her and jumped at the chance to spend time with her as well as “get deals.”  Two of my favorite things.

So I left my work on my desk and ventured out to SAVE MONEY.  Even considering the capers that fell on my friend’s driveway and  sloshed downhill (until she saved them and threw them in her colander), I came home with a lot of stuff. And I got a good workout, hauling it all in, cutting all the clam-shell packaging away with industrial tools, and lifting the jumbo bags of pine-nuts into the cabinets.

Confession: as the euphoria has faded, I’m left with a layer of guilt and a vague sense of unease is permeating my soul. 

  • The grapefruit I bought is full of polysorbonate or citro-carbonate or MSG or something.
  • I already had two multi-packs of Thomas English Muffins in the freezer (who knew?) and thought I needed more.  
  • I’ll never use the extra 72 ounces of ground turkey that was “practically free” with the amount I needed.
  • I used 4.5 hours and drove my car half an hour each way.
  • I have a pile roughly 4 feet by 3 feet of cardboard boxes to get rid of.
  • I’m too tired to work.

Friends… that is too much energy, too much trash, too much time, too much gas, too much ground turkey, too many chemicals, too much excess.  What are we DOING?  

Stop the world, I want to get off (or at least change planets).  And wander out into a field, pick an apple and sit there and eat it.  For 100 years.

What will I do next time Costco calls my name, offering multi-packs of swim goggles or denture cream?  Expedience and purist desires are warring in me.



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